This past monday was my birthday. I turned 33 (yes yes I know…I look awesome) . That’s my Jesus year although I don’t plan on getting crucified any time soon. I didn’t do much because I didn’t have the funds and besides ….it was Monday. What really is there to do on Monday? My friends did take me out the weekend before so that was cool. My Monday was spent mostly at the Human Services building ( I was trying to get a food stamp card) , then my mom took me out to lunch and my sister bought me some really cool jeans and shirts from express. My homegirl later invited me to drink some vodka and wine (we’rd mix) at her place with a couple of her trannie boys. It was a pretty chill night in comparison to past birthdays but hey…sometimes it beez likes that . Man , my facebook wall was covered with hundreds of “happy birthdays” . It’s interesting I think. The internet makes things too easy though I suppose, but you know me…never satisfied.
My thirties is bringing a sense of calm, of calculated thought into place. Sure things don’t have to go my way all the time but I’m learning to work around things to still get what I want even if it wasn’t the original plan. My stability, sense of home, loving relationships, and career are all on the forefront as they have always been. I begin to ask myself, “hey maybe I can live with out that” or “I definitely can’t live without this.” I’m pretty clear on those things now. Who cares if people aren’t clear on me, yet I’m still working on some mundane commonality with the typical person so I don’t scare them off. People need people…even me (but I rather surround myself with people that inspire me to grow). I’m just too pre-occuppied trying to find a simple truth of life; a universal seed to plant my empire of existance with.
I’m back to writing again and I think it should be interesting what stories come to place now. When I started writing I was a typical church going Christian. Then I started studying judaism and other things and now I’m more into metaphysics. To me the Universe-God-the source of life is all a big clock, ticking away. If you know what time it is, you can harness the power it provides. Other people worship the clock but I don’t believe that makes things better or worse.
“OH KEEP ME FROM BEING LATE OH GRANDFATHER CLOCK! DING TO ME IN THE MORNING!”
Worshipping a clock won’t stop time or not make you late or early. You just have to know how to tell time and what to do with the time you’re given. I think that’s the jist of spirituality or even naturality (if thats a word). Anyhow I won’t rant too long. Just sharing some of the clarity I have in my head. Thanks for reading people. Keep loving and being….