I recently read an article in the Dallas Voice about this gay couple that was kicked out a “family night” bowling alley because the manager didn’t consider the couple family.
Without going much into the article you can read it here. What I really want to focus on is how we define family and what makes one. A friend of mine is I should say…um “gay for pay” (ie. a dancer) said he was curious about being with a man in a relationship , however the only deterrent was that he wanted a family. I found this idea that he couldn’t have a family if he pursued a homosexual relationship archaic and false.
It has been the long socialized embedded misconception that if a man “came out the closet” he was giving up any chance of having children and being a father. Parents cried and gave up hope with ever becoming grandparents; but this is the 21st century people! It’s 2013 now and with marriage equality just around the corner, more and more gay men are turning in their cock rings for wedding rings. What we’re seeing here is an evolution of the mind. When men are saying
“Hey I want more than just a one night stand..I want a partner by my side..and I want to build a legacy with him“
The more younger gays see relationships they more hope they have for their future that it can be done. If anything a generation of young gays is leading this evolution of mind …breaking down the past stigmas and archetypes.
So a man… any man wants a family. He can get one. There’s adoption, surrogate mothers, and if you can’t afford that hey… may one of your close friends can spawn your “seed” hehe. Either way it can be done and there’s no excuse now. The future is now. Look at the examples of proud gay men who have taken on the father role successfully.
Of course these are just celebrities… there are countless others who’s names are not as lofty. This is the age of possibility if you can expand your mind, it can be done. But as with anything it starts with self first. You can’t spread love to a child if you don’t love yourself and who you are. If you don’t love who you are , you can’t possibly maintain a healthy relationship. And that’s where we begin. Each gay man, young and old is on a journey of self discovery… either to decide to walk in shame or be a man and say “This is who I am… Love me or Leave me…I’m still a man.” After you accept yourself, the rest is easy (more or less) . I believe that every successful man, however, should leave a legacy… to share his wisdom that he learned. But back to the original question…
What is family?
Two parents and child? One parent and a child? A grandmother and grandkids? A big brother and his younger siblings? Three cousins? A family is working unit..a group with a common history and building a common future. A unit built on love for one another …and that’s what matters. Aiiight enough of the mushy stuff .. as you were.