Sometimes people stop and ask me when it happened… No not when I had sex (get your mind out the gutter) but when I decided to quit the religious quest of Christian perfection, to stop comparing my life with biblical characters who may have or haven’t truly existed.
I grew up in church. Went to Sunday school, the kinda kid who memorized the books of Bible in
order and read it from page to page ( except for the book of numbers… That shit is boring) I was church “royalty” …my mother and stepfather were ordained ministers (and no i wasn’t the bad preachers kid) . I was in Christian organizations in both high school and college. I was a defender of the faith (beware sinners!). I spoke what I was taught. And it worked…until i desired to know more.
Those that know me….know I’m a writer. I’m a writer of novels about angels. You can’t write anything without studying your topic; and that’s what I did…study.
I studied the Bible for knowledge…not for some emotional inspiration that most people do…and when I did that, my eyes were opened to flaws of the “word of God”. There were errors, obvious human interjections. But that’s a longer story… I somehow justified the errors in my head.
( flesh eating and blood drinking).And all of this was to redeem me from some enigmatic word called “sin” that somehow originated from two people that have no more historical relevance than any other creation story from any other country.
I had to stop…think.
Why did I need this for soul redemption? Blood sacrifice? What made this religion any different from an ancient religion sacrificing virgins in volcanoes? Why did i need religion at all? So i decided to start over….
I decided to relearn. I didn’t throw out baby Jesus with the bath water but I allowed myself to question the validity of all and everything I thought to be true.