SGL… ugh WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?

“hi.. so are you gay?”

“ugh no, I’m SGL.” 

“you’re what?”

“I’m same gender loving.” 

Image

MAN get out here with that bullshit…you’re GAY! So I’ve been tripping out about BLACK folks who are on this SGL “label” versus just accepting that that they’re gay. This label was created by black folks in the 90’s who were oo in the closet to admit that they were gay decided that they didn’t want to be considered gay because it was a “european” term so they decided have something more *clearing throat” more afro-centric (because AFRICA SO LOVES THE GAYS  SGL members of society) I wonder… when is this SGL pride… so I can make sure NOT to pencil it in my schedule. 

Image

SGL (or same gender loving) is bull…SHIT. *plop plop plop* It’s just another sub culture that wants to  divide.  “You’re gay.. and I’m not like you, I’m different.” really…cause when it all comes down to it… when somebody is discriminating against you for your sexuality, it doesn’t matter what race you are, they just see you as gay. “Oh sorry, you’re SGL? i just hate gays…nevermind.” …no I’ve never heard anyone say that. 

Bisexual, homosexual, lesbian, tran, curious…when prejudice straight folk find out you’re different …you’re lumped into that gay pot. So be gay..and be happy.   Divided we fall; which is why I still for the life of me can’t understand why the gay black community continually divides itself from the gay community at large. Yes, I know there’s racism within the gay community; but not all gays  are racist and  there’s no reason that we continually divide into these tiny subcultures to find acceptance or psychological satisfaction in meaningless acronyms . 

Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time and it’s still here…. SGL , well that… that’s bull shit. #dropsmic 

How to Be OUT

I don’t know if I can answer my own subject. I can only share my own experience.

As a rule I approach everything with respect and dignity and I expect the same back. If you don’t know by now I have a user name “fratBrotha” meaning…I’m in a fraternity . It has come to my knowledge recently from another fraternity brother that they have caught wind via the net that I am bisexual.

Now let me state…im not in college anymore, and the men that are apparently gossipping about me are far into their adult age. So i find this quite amazing that people would be chatting about my sexuality as if it was that noteworthy in this day and time. Perhaps its just shocking and its something to burn the time, who knows.

Anyhow, one of my frat brothers emails me to let me know that such clatter is going on in Texas (but I live in Los angeles) . I tell him I am flattered that so many people have concerned themselves with my sexual behavior.

Just goes to show you that southern mentality.

Glad I left.

Why do people feel so shocked? Do people just simple expect all people to be the same (ie heterosexual) and if they are not, do you expect those people to be the stereotypical mold that you have created for them?I think not.

It has been enough to bother me to the point of writing this but after my vent I shall just accept the mentality of some people for just what it is.

My hope for the BLACK community in particular is that they learn to accept people no matter their differences or sexuality for it is hypocritical for us to fight for civil rights and then next breath turn our nose up on those with different sexual orientation in our OWN race. Plain hypocrisy . You don’t have to like it, but understand that people like me exist.

that’s all ask, understanding.

Why People are More Comfortable with Lesbians than Gay Men

I have found at least in the main media, that most people are highly comfortable with lesbianism but not male homosexuality. I have a theory about this so if continue reading if you will.

This is pretty much a male dominated society but yet women control a lot about how men react to things. So there’s this 50-50 exchange of ideas and control. Lesbian women or at the very least women who flirt with the idea, pose no threat to male sexuality or sexual identity. Two women together don’t even threaten their own femininity and it would seem that they become EMPOWERED because they express the ability sexually that they don’t need a man.

The heterosexual man, however still is able to see himself in these women’s lives because, as stated before, it’s a male dominated society and lesbian or not, it’s dangerous for a woman by herself (unless she has a gun, dog or something) So they guy says to himself,

“Hey she has a need…i still have a chance”

I will even go as to say even sexually he says,

“Wow, two Pussies…and nothing getting filled…there’s a need…I still have a chance.”

This is his mind. What he may not realize is that she may not want to be penetrated or she may have alternate ways of doing so. They only lesbian threat to the heterosexual male is the stud female who says,

“Not only do I not need you sexually, but I don’t need you to protect me either, AND I can please a woman better than you.”

This woman is so much like him that he is not attracted to her and most of the time these strong lesbians are the object of gay bashing if any.

On the adverse side, male homosexuality poses a threat to heterosexual men only to one issue…..Straight men feel that being gay means religuishing your masculinity or becoming less of a man. This is not necessarily true. This is only because the media chooses to focus on the most feminine of gay men and the most masculine of gay men choose to stay in shadows. Just like the stud lesbian who has traded in her feminine identity, there are some men who have traded their masculine identity for more softer tones and some in the hetero society find this difficult to accept as most try so hard to define, uphold, and retain what they consider masculine and feminine especially when it comes to relationships.

Where the feminine gay male gets much smack about his sexual orientation, you find far less masculine men getting as much trouble. I saw one dude at the gym who was big and brawny, he appeared to have that biker look. He had a tank top and on his arm he had tattoos of intertwining dicks and male symbol signs. He was obviously gay and proud and so big I doubt anybody would fuck with him. My point is, although he was gay he posed no threat to male masculinity, in fact he seemed to love his own (nothing wrong with that).

I find that homesexual/bisexual men who are masculine and love their masculinity seemed to be more so accepted in the heterosexual world. Straight men love their masculinity too, they have something in common. A straight man can talk about lifting weights, sports, politics, or even sex with a masculine gay male in a way he cannot with a feminine male.

Why is that? Perhaps the feminine male feels more in common with females or is oblivious to what masculinity even is. Because of that, he tries harder to express himself (he is still a man) and this comes off as FLAMBOYANT. The heterosexual male says,

” I can’t relate to this guy and I don’t need him in my life.”

The feminine male’s rejection of his his masculinity expresses itself as masculine men (gay or str8) reject him.

As times change, and we begin to see more MASCULINE homo and bisexual men come to the forefront, then we begin to see the heterosexual world begin to relate more become more comfortable as they see more diversity within the LGBT community and relize that being gay is not just a “feminine” thing .

In my own bisexuality I have had no issue with my straight friends and often enjoy debating on what they consider right or wrong when it comes to sexuality. I also find that there are SO MANY masculine men who may identify as straight but that may not be necessarily true. As the world becomes more accepting, hopefully these individuals will accept themselves. So I am making this theory based off my own experience and my observation of other masculine men and people’s response to them. If you have had a different experience please feel free to share, comment, or send a note.