LGBT ISSUES: Acceptance Vs. Tolerance

It’s 2018 and the year of 2019 is on the horizon. Our present world in the past few years has legalized marriage equality and a many young LGBT people see a hope in the future that those before them couldn’t even imagine. I life out of the shadows. A normal life.

But as LGBT Americans, like myself, move forward on this new hope to create our lives and be able to live our lives in peace we can’t be naive and believe that everybody is on board with such ideals. Being an American Black person I’m not naive that racist people exist and continue to raise their children to do the same. I’m not naive when I see blatant misogyny towards women in society either. But I also believe this America, and while we are fighting for our freedoms we also need to give people the freedom to be who they are…( no matter how backwards that may be. ) Which is why I believe tolerance should be something that is strived for and not so much acceptance. Give me a second and I’ll explain why.

No matter what group you identify with it seems everyone wants someone else to accept them. I think social media has created this NEED to be accepted. But honestly, that’s not reality. Acceptance is something you can’t force and it’s definitely something that doesn’t happen overnight.

ac·cept·ance/əkˈseptəns/noun

  1. 1.the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.” charges involving the acceptance of bribes” synonyms: receipt, receiving, taking, obtaining More
  2. 2.the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group.

When you accept someone or something, you allow it into your life completely. People that I personally typically accept become my friends… they know me and I know them. Tolerance, on the other hand, is different. You’re not particularly in my life insomuch you’re just a part of the many aspects of my life.

tol·er·ance/ˈtäl(ə)rəns/noun

  1. 1.the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

When I tolerate something. I don’t have to agree with it. I just acknowledge it exists and respect its ability to exist. So, for example, I accept my friends and I tolerate some of my co-workers (no names need to be said).

The Problem

In this politically correct world, we’ve moved from people preaching tolerance to people demanding acceptance. Demanding acceptance is like saying:


“YOU BETTER LIKE ME OR I’LL POST YOUR NAME ON TWITTER AND GET YOU FIRED!”

Demanding acceptance whether it be sexual preference, racial, gender identity, weight, or whatever from people who typically may not accept you will only backfire and cause those other people to feel stifled and to retaliate in an even more hateful manner.

Why would anyone demand someone else to like them anyhow? We don’t really need that. What we need is tolerance. What we need is for people to have the freedom to believe what they want and live their lives as they want without someone else interfering on their personal freedom or beliefs.

“So you’re saying we should tolerate racist, sexist, religious bigots?”

Actually, more or less yes. Racism didn’t end with Martin Luther King Jr. and homophobia didn’t end when marriage equality was legalized. Those people will still exist. Trying to get those people to accept you is a waste of energy. (Use that energy to accept yourself.. that’s another blog) I tolerate bigots and racists exist but once they move into action to interfere in my life that’s when we have problems. So if they wanna wave their confederate flag (at home) and hate gay folk…that’s their right. But when they decide that it should be expressed in front of my house, expressed online to demean and attack, or they want to keep me out a job because of my race or sexual orientation, then it’s impeding on my freedoms.

The Solution


“The right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.” 

-Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

It’s simple. When you tolerate people, you may not like them but you respect them as human beings and treat them as you would like them to treat you. Anything less is disrespectful. You see if we all practice tolerance then everyone can live peacefully. When people go beyond tolerance, then they go on the offensive. Intolerance is the only thing that can not be accepted. 

Montré Bible is a five-time published author and is releasing his new novel Sons of Heaven on Amazon.com Dec 21, 2018

Gay Open Relationships are…

BULLSHIT! I know I’m gonna step on some toes  but come on , let’s be honest. For all the gay dudes that have boyfriends but are in “open relationships”, there are few reasons why this probably works but isn’t conducive to being actually happy.

ONE person can’t make you happy

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While this may be true to some extent when it comes to attention and maybe social outings. How far are you going to test a relationship when it comes to sex? If two partners can’t sexually satisfy each other, aren’t you nothing more than roommates? Most “partners” simply aren’t willing to call it quits due to mutual history or comfort but go out of their way to find someone to sexually satisfy them for the moment.

I won’t be a hypocrite, yes I’ve slept with people I’ve knowingly knew were in relationships but it left me feeling “less than” . I didn’t want to be the side dick, my name is not Olivia Pope. For the third wheel you’re always left wondering, “What kinda guy has you hooked but can’t satisfy you sexually?” . And true, it may be a deeper bond, but deep bonds can be developed with anybody if people take time.

Frankly, if one person can’t make you happy… why be in a relationship at all? Stay single and tell people you’re not interested in commitment.

They’re comfortable

Most these guys not only have built a history with one person, but they built it with the wrong person. They’ve invested too much to want to start over. Perhaps the person has more money than them or they mutual financial obligations like a car note. Often times you see this when someone dates someone considerably older than their self. The older partner may allow them to play as not to lose them completely.

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The point is…at this point you have to weigh out the pros  and cons to either be with some one you kinda like and be comfortable but unhappy or take a chance on happiness. Most these guys choose money.

They’re TWO bottoms settling

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Loneliness gets the best of us and sometimes you’ll find guys who get along on every level except that they both enjoy sex the exact same way (as bottoms) . Everyone is different however, and one may compromise to take a chance at not being alone for the rest of his life. This may work on an emotional level as they find someone they trust, but on a sexual level you have someone who will constantly be deep down looking for a top. Just remember while you’re settling , that single top of your dreams just overlooked you because you were at the bar with a ring on it. (and I don’t mean cock ring)

They’re emotionally insecure

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More often than not, this person is trying to not to fall in love with anyone to keep from being hurt. They have probably been hurt in the past and now they have set up the perfect way to never be put in that situation again… an open relationship. This way, they get security of knowing someone will always be there but by spreading their physical self thin to several people they never really feel a total bond with anyone.  This is usually a one-sided arrangement however, and sooner or later the other partner will tire. But what do they care?

Look, I’m just venting, maybe I’m bitter cause it’s crazy out there just finding one person in the dating world. It just adds to it when you find a great guy, and he says, “I just want to be honest I have a boyfriend but…” But hey… if works for you keep on, don’t let me be the Grinch who stole Valentines. 😛

When i find a relationship, it’s sorta like this…

strip1 strip2 strip3 strip4

Lol , i admit, it happens fast and unexpectedly, and I think that what makes it scary (especially if you find yourself falling alone) I was thinking to myself “Damn I fall in love fast” — of course, I fall out of love fast too.. I don’t know if it’s really “love” or enamoured..eh different word same feeling right? I just try to open up to people unapologetically without walls up. It helps me to learn who people are REALLY FAST. THat alone can help see through bullshit. When you’re dating in your 30’s wasting time is not an option. If you don’t like someone, let them know… move on. The older I get the more I feel someone’s lifestyle has to compatible with my own (when I was younger it didn’t matter) but things like diet, how OFTEN you drink, social life, family life, work life all play a major part in how relationships balance out. I’ve dated a couple of workaholics who never have time and I’ve dated so socialholics who have time for everyone (else) . So all in all I’ve looking for someone who balances …with me.

Online Dating in Generation X #LGBT

I don’t even know why I call it online dating … might as well just call it dating. In my universe there’s not too many ways to get to know a person. My life is consumed with the internet (working in social media) and I try to go out when I have money and time, but then I want to hang out friends. Drunken bar hookups seem just so… unromantic. lol. So I’m using my tools to see how this works.. (versus my tool) . So far I’ve checked out Tinder on my phone and OkCupid. I’ve gotten more feedback and conversation on OKcupid. Maybe cause the guys in my neighborhood are not the “dating” types. But I do live smack dab in the middle of the gayborhood close to all the bars so…there you have those “drunken bar hookups” just on my phone app. Not that I don’t mind a drink or two and whatever happens-happens it’s just I would like to do something more–ya know like a stroll to Klyde Warren park or hit up White rock Lake or something. My close friend told me that I have to put the intention out there that I’m serious. So hey… can’t put it out there better than writing it down can I? I’m a hopeful romantic. I like a lot of guys, I think a lot of guys are cute, it’s just none are quite fitting with my life at this moment. I’m a generation X guy that can easily date older or younger at this moment. I like partying but I don’t want to do it all the time. I like chilling with netflix but I don’t want to be at home all the time. I just need a fine balance of the two… an active and passive relationship/lifestyle. Eh, I don’t want to overthink it.

How Marriage Equality is Changing Dating

Imagine  a world where they told men and women to separate. Where they felt it was better for the protection and benefit of mankind if men and women lived in separate communities. What if they created laws forbidding men and women from even socializing unless it was in mandated government facilities for reproduction ONLY? What if, dating, intimacy (between the sexes) , and all types of things were criminalized based upon some past statistic of date rape, domestic abuse, divorce ratings? What do you think people would start doing? Do you think they would have sex in dark and dank places just to fulfill their urges? Who they sneak around corners and create secret clubs to socialize? OF COURSE THEY WOULD!

(you see how crazy people went over prohibition of alcohol and present questioning of marijauna)

Do you think those that were caught doing such acts would be punished by their personal community groups? This type of reality seems far-fetched and something built for fiction but that’s exactly what homosexual couples have been and some still go through.

Marriage equality seems to be changed what gay men in particular consider acceptable. Let’s be honest, lesbianism seems to be way more acceptable in America than two gay men ( however, lesbians have their own set of hurdles to overcome) . But for so many years two men who love each other can barely hold hands with out somebody accusing them of throwing their homosexuality down their throats. In reality, if I were to throw it down your throat I would just make your husband suck my.

well let’s just move on….

I believe marriage equality is changing the mentality of not only heterosexual people but also homosexual people on what’s actually possible in relationships. If you enter a relationship hopeless… most likely it will never go beyond sex. Now, gay men…more so younger gay men can envision a future with a partner (family) . I see now more guys asking more long-term questions besides how long is my d…

well let’s just move on…

I am hopeful for the future in America. The world is changing. We are living in a time where you can live your truth and still live along side with people who may live a different truth. Hey, but that’s okay. Gone are the days of witch burnings…I hope. I can be horribly optimistic at times. But for the men who are sexuality attracted to men, I am hopeful they finally … so many will find peace of mind of being who they are… and loving and living with who they want to be with and creating something… because that’s what being a man

is all about.