How Marriage Equality is Changing Dating

Imagine  a world where they told men and women to separate. Where they felt it was better for the protection and benefit of mankind if men and women lived in separate communities. What if they created laws forbidding men and women from even socializing unless it was in mandated government facilities for reproduction ONLY? What if, dating, intimacy (between the sexes) , and all types of things were criminalized based upon some past statistic of date rape, domestic abuse, divorce ratings? What do you think people would start doing? Do you think they would have sex in dark and dank places just to fulfill their urges? Who they sneak around corners and create secret clubs to socialize? OF COURSE THEY WOULD!

(you see how crazy people went over prohibition of alcohol and present questioning of marijauna)

Do you think those that were caught doing such acts would be punished by their personal community groups? This type of reality seems far-fetched and something built for fiction but that’s exactly what homosexual couples have been and some still go through.

Marriage equality seems to be changed what gay men in particular consider acceptable. Let’s be honest, lesbianism seems to be way more acceptable in America than two gay men ( however, lesbians have their own set of hurdles to overcome) . But for so many years two men who love each other can barely hold hands with out somebody accusing them of throwing their homosexuality down their throats. In reality, if I were to throw it down your throat I would just make your husband suck my.

well let’s just move on….

I believe marriage equality is changing the mentality of not only heterosexual people but also homosexual people on what’s actually possible in relationships. If you enter a relationship hopeless… most likely it will never go beyond sex. Now, gay men…more so younger gay men can envision a future with a partner (family) . I see now more guys asking more long-term questions besides how long is my d…

well let’s just move on…

I am hopeful for the future in America. The world is changing. We are living in a time where you can live your truth and still live along side with people who may live a different truth. Hey, but that’s okay. Gone are the days of witch burnings…I hope. I can be horribly optimistic at times. But for the men who are sexuality attracted to men, I am hopeful they finally … so many will find peace of mind of being who they are… and loving and living with who they want to be with and creating something… because that’s what being a man

is all about.

Sex and Mind Control

I’m sure you’re like “OMG… what is he talking about now” but I promise you it won’t be something crazy. Kinda But it’s the first day of Scorpio and we all know what scorpios are about hehehe. PLUS, I’m in a reflective state of mind right now and I have began realizing what kind of things make me tick as a man. There was a time as  a kid when I was ready to go when the wind blew (if you get my drift) but now I realize that it when it comes to sexuality I’m more of a oven than I am a microwave. I am sure there are those in the gay community that are into microwave sex however, there comes the time when you realize that the better quality food is cooked slow.

Wait are we talking about food or sex? I hope I haven’t lost you in the metaphor. Growing up my attempts to identify my sexuality has been best described as bisexual (which has it’s ups and downs in both the hetero and homo sexual communities) but, if I get down to the nitty gritty what best describes me is sapiosexual. I am the type that will feel genuine attraction to someone who stimulates my mind regardless of gender. (think of the student who falls for their university professor..yeah I’m that type)  I think back at people who I felt no sexual attraction to no matter what they did, or how they looked and I realized there was one missing element. They were all about my body but weren’t connecting to me on some mental level.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my share of one night stands with out really knowing someone’s full name but in the same, there was some initial mental connection, some unspoken inside joke that was noticed, some mental discussion about attraction or perhaps they touched on the emotional dynamic slightly.

As I get older I realize there are three dynamics in what I want from another that distinctly affect the other dynamics substantially:

  • Emotional: intimacy, romance, imagination, freedom to be
  • Physical: Sexual prowness, desire and uninhibited
  • Mental stimulation: communication on some level and inspirational awareness

Doesn’t seem to much to ask, I guess where people differ is which dynamic is given priority. What do you think of my list? Did I miss anything? What would you give more weight?

Why People are More Comfortable with Lesbians than Gay Men

I have found at least in the main media, that most people are highly comfortable with lesbianism but not male homosexuality. I have a theory about this so if continue reading if you will.

This is pretty much a male dominated society but yet women control a lot about how men react to things. So there’s this 50-50 exchange of ideas and control. Lesbian women or at the very least women who flirt with the idea, pose no threat to male sexuality or sexual identity. Two women together don’t even threaten their own femininity and it would seem that they become EMPOWERED because they express the ability sexually that they don’t need a man.

The heterosexual man, however still is able to see himself in these women’s lives because, as stated before, it’s a male dominated society and lesbian or not, it’s dangerous for a woman by herself (unless she has a gun, dog or something) So they guy says to himself,

“Hey she has a need…i still have a chance”

I will even go as to say even sexually he says,

“Wow, two Pussies…and nothing getting filled…there’s a need…I still have a chance.”

This is his mind. What he may not realize is that she may not want to be penetrated or she may have alternate ways of doing so. They only lesbian threat to the heterosexual male is the stud female who says,

“Not only do I not need you sexually, but I don’t need you to protect me either, AND I can please a woman better than you.”

This woman is so much like him that he is not attracted to her and most of the time these strong lesbians are the object of gay bashing if any.

On the adverse side, male homosexuality poses a threat to heterosexual men only to one issue…..Straight men feel that being gay means religuishing your masculinity or becoming less of a man. This is not necessarily true. This is only because the media chooses to focus on the most feminine of gay men and the most masculine of gay men choose to stay in shadows. Just like the stud lesbian who has traded in her feminine identity, there are some men who have traded their masculine identity for more softer tones and some in the hetero society find this difficult to accept as most try so hard to define, uphold, and retain what they consider masculine and feminine especially when it comes to relationships.

Where the feminine gay male gets much smack about his sexual orientation, you find far less masculine men getting as much trouble. I saw one dude at the gym who was big and brawny, he appeared to have that biker look. He had a tank top and on his arm he had tattoos of intertwining dicks and male symbol signs. He was obviously gay and proud and so big I doubt anybody would fuck with him. My point is, although he was gay he posed no threat to male masculinity, in fact he seemed to love his own (nothing wrong with that).

I find that homesexual/bisexual men who are masculine and love their masculinity seemed to be more so accepted in the heterosexual world. Straight men love their masculinity too, they have something in common. A straight man can talk about lifting weights, sports, politics, or even sex with a masculine gay male in a way he cannot with a feminine male.

Why is that? Perhaps the feminine male feels more in common with females or is oblivious to what masculinity even is. Because of that, he tries harder to express himself (he is still a man) and this comes off as FLAMBOYANT. The heterosexual male says,

” I can’t relate to this guy and I don’t need him in my life.”

The feminine male’s rejection of his his masculinity expresses itself as masculine men (gay or str8) reject him.

As times change, and we begin to see more MASCULINE homo and bisexual men come to the forefront, then we begin to see the heterosexual world begin to relate more become more comfortable as they see more diversity within the LGBT community and relize that being gay is not just a “feminine” thing .

In my own bisexuality I have had no issue with my straight friends and often enjoy debating on what they consider right or wrong when it comes to sexuality. I also find that there are SO MANY masculine men who may identify as straight but that may not be necessarily true. As the world becomes more accepting, hopefully these individuals will accept themselves. So I am making this theory based off my own experience and my observation of other masculine men and people’s response to them. If you have had a different experience please feel free to share, comment, or send a note.