I don’t even know why I call it online dating … might as well just call it dating. In my universe there’s not too many ways to get to know a person. My life is consumed with the internet (working in social media) and I try to go out when I have money and time, but then I want to hang out friends. Drunken bar hookups seem just so… unromantic. lol. So I’m using my tools to see how this works.. (versus my tool) . So far I’ve checked out Tinder on my phone and OkCupid. I’ve gotten more feedback and conversation on OKcupid. Maybe cause the guys in my neighborhood are not the “dating” types. But I do live smack dab in the middle of the gayborhood close to all the bars so…there you have those “drunken bar hookups” just on my phone app. Not that I don’t mind a drink or two and whatever happens-happens it’s just I would like to do something more–ya know like a stroll to Klyde Warren park or hit up White rock Lake or something. My close friend told me that I have to put the intention out there that I’m serious. So hey… can’t put it out there better than writing it down can I? I’m a hopeful romantic. I like a lot of guys, I think a lot of guys are cute, it’s just none are quite fitting with my life at this moment. I’m a generation X guy that can easily date older or younger at this moment. I like partying but I don’t want to do it all the time. I like chilling with netflix but I don’t want to be at home all the time. I just need a fine balance of the two… an active and passive relationship/lifestyle. Eh, I don’t want to overthink it.
Some people hate to be lonely.
They actually resist it and try to surround themselves with other people only to find that act of being around people does not make loneliness go away. In time people can sometimes allow that loneliness to depress them.
But let me offer you a different perspective .
Loneliness is divine because …the Creator in itself is alone. By expressing the duality in itself and duplicating that into creation do we have what we now see as “reality”. The creation, nature, and even our our bodies are mere variations of the Source manifesting life in variation to understand …the self.
But the only truth is…. The Source and beginning of every thing… is all one or alone. When you feel that… you feel what it means TO BE. You feel what “god” feels. So versus rejecting that feeling, embrace it and express it. Create something. Embrace the power of being ALL-ONE. You can’t help it …if you sit alone long enough your mind will create things on it’s own. It will create dream sequences and people, and stories, and landscapes. The point (or meaning ) is … can you consciously do what you subconsciously know how to do already?
I find it somewhat entertaining (at least this year) with valentines so many of my single friends were in an uproar about not having anyone. I saw more tweets, facebook
statuses (is that plural? hmm) and the like about how VALENTINES SUCKS. People choosing to be bitchy than to just celebrate the day of love….even if you’re single. I’m not sure what valentines means for you. Perhaps some people need to have that one and only person to buy them any and everything and romance them like it’s their first date and they need to have sex before the world ends tomorrow they are the only person in the world. When people realize they don’t have that, they go into pouting mode like the kid that didn’t get any candy this year. I think we have to rethink valentines. It’s not just for couples. It’s for everybody to express how you feel about those you care about. If it’s that special somebody so be it. But if not, surely there is somebody else you love.
And I don’t mean yourself.
Yes that seems to be the alternative. I have seen tons of single people so upset that they have no valentines that they opted to just spend their time and energy on themselves. Now while I totally believe in self-love and if you can’t love yourself nobody can I do believe this is counter-productive. Write a list of people that you love in your life (family and friends) . This is a holiday anyhow to focuse on YOUR love for OTHER people. Love yourself on your birthday…that’s what it’s there for (btw mines on March 7th FYI) …but I digress.
So you’re single . So what!
You’ve been that way all year and it didn’t bother you! I have seen sooo many single people online just wanting somebody to be with especially on valentines this should be like a buffet for singledom. Look how many people you have to choose from! I suggest, not celebrating singledom but celebrating love in a single person’s way (ie non-committal) this goes for guys and girls equally (cause girls tend to not want to give but only recieve on valentines…hmmm). Remember when you were young and you would buy those cheap cartoon valentines , tape some candy on it, and sign it and pass them out to your classmates? Of course you always had that special one for the kid you liked the most but you gave to everyone. Why stop? If you want love…you gotta give love. Instead of hording all your candy (ie love) for yourself… this year, pass it out to your random friends. Send an email, text, post a loving video to their facebook wall and let them know that somebody…somewhere was thinking of them, and trust me that love will boomerang back to you. And who knows…maybe next year, you’ll be the couple that everyone hates 😉