Gay Open Relationships are…

BULLSHIT! I know I’m gonna step on some toes  but come on , let’s be honest. For all the gay dudes that have boyfriends but are in “open relationships”, there are few reasons why this probably works but isn’t conducive to being actually happy.

ONE person can’t make you happy

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While this may be true to some extent when it comes to attention and maybe social outings. How far are you going to test a relationship when it comes to sex? If two partners can’t sexually satisfy each other, aren’t you nothing more than roommates? Most “partners” simply aren’t willing to call it quits due to mutual history or comfort but go out of their way to find someone to sexually satisfy them for the moment.

I won’t be a hypocrite, yes I’ve slept with people I’ve knowingly knew were in relationships but it left me feeling “less than” . I didn’t want to be the side dick, my name is not Olivia Pope. For the third wheel you’re always left wondering, “What kinda guy has you hooked but can’t satisfy you sexually?” . And true, it may be a deeper bond, but deep bonds can be developed with anybody if people take time.

Frankly, if one person can’t make you happy… why be in a relationship at all? Stay single and tell people you’re not interested in commitment.

They’re comfortable

Most these guys not only have built a history with one person, but they built it with the wrong person. They’ve invested too much to want to start over. Perhaps the person has more money than them or they mutual financial obligations like a car note. Often times you see this when someone dates someone considerably older than their self. The older partner may allow them to play as not to lose them completely.

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The point is…at this point you have to weigh out the pros  and cons to either be with some one you kinda like and be comfortable but unhappy or take a chance on happiness. Most these guys choose money.

They’re TWO bottoms settling

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Loneliness gets the best of us and sometimes you’ll find guys who get along on every level except that they both enjoy sex the exact same way (as bottoms) . Everyone is different however, and one may compromise to take a chance at not being alone for the rest of his life. This may work on an emotional level as they find someone they trust, but on a sexual level you have someone who will constantly be deep down looking for a top. Just remember while you’re settling , that single top of your dreams just overlooked you because you were at the bar with a ring on it. (and I don’t mean cock ring)

They’re emotionally insecure

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More often than not, this person is trying to not to fall in love with anyone to keep from being hurt. They have probably been hurt in the past and now they have set up the perfect way to never be put in that situation again… an open relationship. This way, they get security of knowing someone will always be there but by spreading their physical self thin to several people they never really feel a total bond with anyone.  This is usually a one-sided arrangement however, and sooner or later the other partner will tire. But what do they care?

Look, I’m just venting, maybe I’m bitter cause it’s crazy out there just finding one person in the dating world. It just adds to it when you find a great guy, and he says, “I just want to be honest I have a boyfriend but…” But hey… if works for you keep on, don’t let me be the Grinch who stole Valentines. 😛

Valentines Day …and you’re Single

I  find it somewhat entertaining (at least this year) with valentines  so many of my single friends were in an uproar about not having anyone.  I saw more tweets, facebook statuses (is that plural? hmm)  and the like about how VALENTINES SUCKSPeople choosing to be bitchy than to just celebrate the day of love….even if you’re single. I’m not sure what valentines means for you. Perhaps some people need to have that one and only person to buy them any and everything and romance them like it’s their first date and they need to have sex before the world ends tomorrow they are the only person in the world. When people realize they don’t have that, they go into pouting mode like the kid that didn’t get any candy this year. I think we have to rethink valentines. It’s not just for couples. It’s for everybody to express how you feel about those you care about. If it’s that special somebody so be it. But if not, surely there is somebody else you love.

And I don’t mean yourself.

Yes that seems to be the alternative. I have seen tons of single people so upset that they have no valentines that they opted to just spend their time and energy on themselves. Now while I totally believe in self-love and if you can’t love yourself nobody can I do believe this is counter-productive.  Write a list of people that you love in your life (family and friends) . This is a holiday anyhow to focuse on YOUR love for OTHER people. Love yourself on your birthday…that’s what it’s there for (btw mines on March 7th FYI) …but I digress.

So you’re single . So what!

You’ve been that way all year and it didn’t bother you! I have seen sooo many single people online just wanting somebody to be with especially on valentines this should be like a buffet for singledom. Look how many people you have to choose from! I suggest, not celebrating singledom but celebrating love in a single person’s way (ie non-committal) this goes for guys and girls equally (cause girls tend to not want to give but only recieve on valentines…hmmm). Remember when you were young and you would buy those cheap cartoon valentines , tape some candy on it, and sign it and pass them out to your classmates? Of course you always had that special one for the kid you liked the most but you gave to everyone.  Why stop? If you want love…you gotta give love.  Instead of hording all your candy (ie love) for yourself… this year, pass it out to your random friends.  Send an email, text, post a loving video to their facebook wall and let them know that somebody…somewhere was thinking of them, and trust me that love will boomerang back to you. And who knows…maybe next year, you’ll be the couple that everyone hates 😉